Anger doesn’t solve anything. It builds nothing, but it destroys everything.
Anger is one of the most common and destructive delusions, and it distresses our minds almost every day. For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness!
Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent to throw it at someone else; you are the one who gets burnt. When you are angry, you are more likely to miss opportunities, make mistakes and take actions that you may later regret.
An angry person is always full of poison and negative thoughts and it brings out a lot of negative energy. People who lose their temper regularly will always be in stressful situation.
The key to a healthy body is a calm head. You need to control anger before it controls you!
Anger that is out of control will drive away those we love the most and endanger our daily existence. According to Bruce Lee a quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough, thus take charge because anger is a force that can move an organization forward to improve, or it can be a force that destroys your ability to fulfil your purpose on an everyday level.
Things you should never do when you are angry!
· Hide it
· Go to sleep while you are still angry
· Go for a drive
· Shout it from the rooftops
· Keep arguing
· Air your grievances on social media
· Email the person you are angry at
· Resort to drugs or alcohol
· Dwell on it
· Reach for food!
Anger management techniques:
Activities so calm you down, to get the anger out of your body and to put you in control.
Count 10 breaths.
The oldest but still the most effective way of calming down and preventing you saying something you cannot withdraw. Think before you talk!
Deep and controlled breathing
§ Why deep breathing, it is free, and it is an excellent tool for stress or anger management. It tricks your body into thinking it is in a calm sate. It gives you energy and it help your body to maintain healthy cells. Find a quiet place, make yourself comfortable – you can even lie down. Loosen tight or uncomfortable clothes (ties off gentlemen).
Place your hand on your abdomen.
Take a deep breath – hold it for a few seconds.
Then breath out slowly ……………feel the relaxation in your body.
Repeat this at least five times.
You can do this exercise twice daily and you will really feel the difference.
Tearing paper
Write down angry thoughts on a piece of paper and then slowly tearing the paper apart, imagining that you are also destroying your feeling so anger. You can even draw faces of how you feel – give those names and then tear it up.
Balloon therapy
This is a unique but wonderful technique. Use about two to four balloons, write on each of them a name of a person or thing that makes you angry or what you hate to do. Use a racket to hit it several as high as possible while you scream as hard as you can. After this exercise, use a pin you punch it – feel the release of your anger as you see it burst. You can even sit on it!
Colouring in
Get colouring – get calm. This works unbelievably!
Clay therapy
It is much better to use something like clay/soft ball/boxing bag/pillow to release anger by punching, kicking, or throwing it. Just make sure you are not throwing things in your house – this can worsen your anger.
Listen to calming music
Listening to music can be an excellent distraction technique that can help to release your anger. It should be calming music – music that will calm down your brain waves. Find quiet, tranquilising music – try to listen to the same songs – your brain will be conditioned and will make the association of calming you down with the music.
Stress release toy
Stress release toys such as a stress ball, can really help in the immediate experience of anger. It gives you some benefits of progressive muscle relaxation immediately but it a stop-gap solution and should be used with other techniques.
Repeat self-calming statements
Find a statement that is meaningful to you, try focussing your attention on the statement as you repeat it – for example:
· I can make it through this
· What can a person do to me – my Creator is my Saviour
· I am strong, unique, and able to handle this situation.
Restructure your thinking
Cognitive restructuring can support you experience anger less frequently. Positive thinking and a positive attitude the best medicine for you to avoid feeling angry in the first place and to manage your anger when you do experience it. Remain logical – ask yourself is this true, does it really matter and whose fault is it.
Mediation
Mediation not only decreases anxiety and alleviates depression; it also can help you maintain you calm even during upsetting experiences. It has a positive effect on your brain function, especially around emotional processing.
See a therapist
If none of the above techniques calms you down, you urgently need to see a therapist specialising in anger management.
Shaking your body
Find a private place to shake your body and imagine that you are literally shaking off your anger – you really need to shake and let go!
Laughter is the best medicine
Laughter is a powerful antidote to stress, pain, and conflict. Nothing work faster or more dependably to bring your mind and body back into balance than a good laugh. Humour lightens your burdens, inspires hopes, connects you to others, and keeps you grounded, focused, and alert. It relaxes your body – kills all anger! Watch a funny movie, read funny pages, share a good joke, watch a good You Tube, do something silly, etc.
Open an emotional bank account to support you in times of anger
Be assertive not aggressive and you will cope in life
§ Understand yourself and others
§ Believe in yourself
§ Let others know you are interested in hearing and understanding their points of view
§ Attend to little things in life
§ Keep your commitments and clarify your expectations
§ Show personal integrity
§ Live your life positively
§ Communicate when you experience feelings of discomfort
§ Try to be the positive person at work
§ See the beauty around you and in others
§ LISTEN carefully…..
§ Be aware of body language
§ Be self-confident and keep your posture in a confident manner
§ Live your life!
Conclusion
The more you learn to take care of your anger the more powerful you will become. Learn in your work and relationships to communicate with respect, to listen to others, to trust them, to contribute to problem-solving, to be motivated, to love what you do, to support and carry employees/partners who need you.
Be creative and a believer that plants the seeds of an excellent crop, namely:
· Plant seeds of love
· Plant seeds of joy
· Plant seeds of peace
· Plant seeds of patience
· Plant seeds of kindness
· Plant seeds of goodness
· Plant seeds of faithfulness
· Plant seeds of gentleness
· PLANTS SEEDS OF SELF-CONTROL
Always remember: No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, show up and never give up!
DR Lanette Hattingh-
