Whoa, we’re burning police vans now? I refuse to believe that honest, hard-working, law-abiding, food-providing farmers could do something so barbaric.
No way. It wasn’t them. I bet it was a stunt by some fancy, Sandton ad agency, trying to win awards, with a campaign launching Fokofpolisiekar’s latest album. Yup, that’s it. Trust me, I work in advertising.
If it wasn’t an ad agency stunt, it was members of the EFF, dressed in boer disguise because there is no way it could have been God-fearing, family-loving, nation-carrying boere who burnt that police car. Nooit, Meneer. In fact, a farmer that was there told me he heard someone say “Amandla”, as the flames started to lick the dashboard of the van. He says he hadn’t brought it up before because he initially thought the person had called out to Amanda, but now he is 100% sure it was “Amandla”.
If it wasn’t EFF members in boer disguise, it was ANC Youth League members in boer disguise because it is impossible that it was salt-of-the-earth, butter-wouldn’t-melt-in-their-mouths, country-loving farmers that set that police van alight. No way. Never. In fact, a farmer’s girlfriend came over to my place and told me a reliable source told her the whole thing had been put out to tender, which was then awarded to a corrupt comrade. It apparently will all be laid bare at the Zondo Commission.
However, if it was not the EFF or ANC Youth League, it must have been members of the ANC Women’s League in boer disguise. It obviously couldn’t have been farmers. They only burn wors, tjops and their insides with brandewyn, but never police vans. Never, ever. In fact, as the flames were roaring, someone heard “Wathinta imbokodo, wathinta abafazi”. At first, they thought it was just some farm worker’s wife, speaking rubbish, but now they are 100% sure it was a member of the ANC Women’s League, celebrating.
Okay, let’s suspend all disbelief and say it was protesting farmers that burnt the police van. I know, I know … but just try imagining it was them. Then it obviously was the Devil that made them do it because it is not in their good nature to do such a barbaric thing. No way. They were possessed by evil spirits and weren’t themselves. It was evil, Bantu spirits that entered their pure, Christian bodies and led them astray, causing them to behave in an uncharacteristic manner. They behaved very unboer-like because in the history of this country, there have been zero recorded incidents of boere violence. None. Niks. Lutho. South Africa has never experienced boere rage because farmers are peaceful, loving people. In fact, if you dig deep, you will learn that “kumbaya” was originally an Afrikaans word – same with “namaste” and “ubuntu”. Even the Zion Christian Church expropriated the greeting “Kgotso (peace)” from the boere, and they did so without compensation. They just took it, which makes sense because the Zion Christian Church is headquartered in Limpopo and Julius is from Limpopo.
Okay, on a serious note, it seems it was the farmers who burnt that police van, but it is okay because it wasn’t the EFF, the ANC, the ANC Youth League, the ANC Women’s League, Cosatu, AMCU, SASCO or any of those barbaric organisations. The police van was burnt by otherwise level-headed, decent and respectful boere who were pushed too far. It is okay that they did what they did, and we must all just move on. I get it. I get it so much, if I could I would walk around in a T-shirt that reads: “The boere were pushed too far.” The T-shirt would also feature a visual of an overturned police van on fire and a smiling boer, braaing vleis over that fire, brandy and coke in hand. I say I would wear this T-shirt IF I COULD because the reality is I can’t. I can’t because the barbaric EFF, ANC, ANC Youth League, ANC Women’s League, SACP and Cosatu would attack me. If these guys wouldn’t attack me, I would wear this T-shirt with pride.
Okay, I wouldn’t because what those protesters did is criminal, and the perpetrators should be punished accordingly.
The reality is crime is a scourge in this country, especially violent crime. We, normal citizens of all races, are under siege and it is relentless. It really is. Cash-in-transit heists, home invasions, farm murders, hijackings, robberies – it is an ongoing snuff movie and we are unwilling extras. We have been let down by the government and the police. All of us. No one victim of crime is more important than another. No one life has more value than another. No one section of the population feels the hurt more than another. We are all in this mess together, and we are all hurting, scared and angry. These feelings of anger and frustration do not give anyone the right to break the law. No one should be a vigilante, no one should burn schools, no one should burn stores and no one should attack the police, burning a police car. There is no justification for such behaviour.
Those who justify what the protesting Senekal farmers did, while condemning #FeesMustFall protesters, the EFF and countless other protesters who have resorted to violence before, need to search their souls to find answers to why they think it is okay for one group of people to act in this way – but not for another. They need to look at why they have different feelings towards the different groups. What is it about these groups of South Africans that makes them have different reactions to their actions? Those people need to take a long, hard look at themselves and their world-view. Or maybe they don’t need to do any of this, as they know very well what informs their feelings about different sections of the South African population, and they are fine with that.
Anyway, back to Fokofpolisiekar – if they do not release a single, just to exploit this Senekal situation, I will know for sure that the saying “n boer maak n plan” is a lie.
Melusi Tshabalala - Daily Marverick.
QUANLIM LIFE-
